Grand ol' team to play for

I was tired and my throat was still gunky. Classics had just been more information on Greeks and their little slave boys and rules on who was allowed to get aroused and who wasn't. My archaeology teacher had made the mistake of proposing a debate and putting me on defence of crazy theories. I don't think I've ever spoken so much in a tutorial before. I had a lift at the writer's group since they liked my story about blind lesbians but the long cold night ahead was daunting. Why did Uefa decide hey now everyone's used to football on wednesdays, a day that everybody is happy with, let's move it to tuesday when everyone has busy days? Grr.

After a few shots leading nowhere half-time was drawing near. Aiden McGeady, teeny little scottish guy who got bullied last season by a big fat ginger Irish player had a shot but I didn't stand up, I thought it had missed. It wasn't until the man next to me grabbed hold of my elbow and lifted me up that I saw the net swoosh and I realised we were winning. So thank you very much man next to me, next time could you not keep trying to hold my arm even when I pull away several times? Yeah? Good. Just glad it wasn't my dead arm, oh how I would have raged.

And so we won and actually have a chance again to progress further, which means more games and more mini-holidays :D

It was freezing though. I knew I should have worn a jumper but my classes are always far too warm. Total mistake, I was shivering for ages when I got home. This is how colds happen, Catherine, you should know this by now!

I was in fopp the other day where I parted with money for cds! Not done that in a while. I was browsing through the so-called 'alternative' section which is just rock music made in the last 2 decades really. I bought a Regina Spektor and a Modest Mouse album but this is how I made my choices:

Dum dee dum ooo stuff's a fiver. Fiver's cheap. I have a fiver! It's a sign! Holy crap she's hot:

Purchased.

I'll have a quick look round first, ooh they've got The Shins, aw too expensive, put it back. Ooh, The Decemberists oh no there's none here just the sign, grumble grumble. I own this cd! And this one! That one's crap, why do people like them? Aw well, I'll just go pay...ooo Modest Mouse and it's pretty and blue and a fiver too. Let's see what songs are on it: Jesus Christ was an only childThat's a great title!...Purchased.

I am a master of killing time. I'm a time assassin.

Revolution's fine, but give me the high fives and the hugs and I'm happy

Today was a successful day. The train arrived in town on time, I didn't have to wait for my bus in or back home, I handed in my essay so I won't have to think about nuns and feminism for a few weeks at least, fopp had two cds I wanted for a fiver each and Indiana Jones was referenced again in my archaeology lecture. Good times, man, good times.

My eye is socially acceptable now. I can walk down the streets of this mean town and not be gawked at. Well, mostly. I never knew I made so many weird faces when I'm thinking. It's a problem. One I ain't solving so deal.

On friday archaeology was so dull we all just about cried. The one piece of information I remember was about how the Peruvians who lived in the first known city were permanently stoned on aphrodisiacs! Yay for Peru I guess. This week was much better. The actual subject matter was bleh, a lot of it is since we aren't digging until after Christmas, but every so often we got a little snippet of something better. For instance, did you know that Arthur Pendragon has been reborn and lives amongst us now awaiting his awakening as the King of England? It's true! Apparently he's laid claim to Stonehenge once he takes the throne. Good on you, you poor, pathetic madman!

We had quotes from Byron, Orwell and a very angry Aboriginal woman. Sometimes I miss my English Lit degree. Sure all the poems we studied were about sex or death or sex with dead people (yay for Browning) but it was cosy and familiar. I'm still getting used to a course like Archaeology which borders on science too often for my likes. Then we get lectures like today where it's all romantic poets and philosophical ideas. These I know. But I remember the girls in the English classes and bah! I'm better off even with Mouseface. Plus y'know there's the geek references to Indiana Jones and how he could have just flown over to England if he wanted the Ark of the Covenant so much.

When I came out of he class a certain little midgetgirl skipped out in front of me, itty bitty ass wiggling and stupid squeaky voice yammering on her phone. I'd forgotten she existed to tell you the truth. I haven't seen her since that first couple of weeks, I figured she'd stopped turning up to avoid me. She changed her subjects last year to avoid being in English with me. Apparently she blamed me for ruining her choices, like I'd deliberately picked it so she couldn't. I found this ridiculous but then I didn't know what she was doing behind my back so it did seem rather odd out of context. But there she was today. I was close enough to shove her down the stairs and claim it wasn't me and whereas a month ago I would have been close to murder now I felt nothing. She was just a nobody. A nobody who is less attractive than me even with the eye thing I've got going on. And that felt damn good.

I actually had some free time after all that. No essays due for a couple of weeks, no tutorial work either. I just have to rest up for my long(er) day tomorrow so I've been reading Joey Comeau and eating strawberries.

I leave you now with the world's best detective, mostly cause I found it in a folder I didn't know I had on my desktop.

When Lesbians Fall Down

There's a fancy underwear shop on the way to work. Every week they have a different shop front. A while back they tied all the manniquins together with ribbon in some sort of weird bondage thing. This week all the manniquins were all in elaborate lacy things and collapsed in to each other. Crazy lesbian orgy? Shocking shop front installation? Or a warning against wearing very high heels to bed. Unsteadyness is almost guaranteed.

After smacking my elbow off the bathroom sink my left arm is pretty dead. My cough is clearing though so I just look like a crazy person and sound pretty ok. Hurrah.

I had a mad dream last night. I was in a bar but I was trying to leave to catch a flight. I couldn't leave until I'd found my brother and said goodbye because I wasn't ever gonna see him again once I left. (I don't have a real brother by the way). So I searched every floor and everywhere I looked everybody who was there started staring at me or tried to keep me from going. The weirdest thing was how clear I could see everybody's face. None of them looked like anybody I actually know and I've never had such clear views of strangers in my dreams. Plus they were all male. Any girls who were there either disappeared completely when I looked at them or turned out to be drag queens who kept complaining how their tights were falling down. I finally made it to the very top of the building where my brother was playing pool. We talked for a while. I told him that I'd fainted and he laughed and called me melodramatic. He told me he was getting married and it was such a shame because if he wasn't he would be able to see me again. Then when I went to go he started dancing with me. He twirled me around, swung me down, leaned in and whispered "laame" in my ear.

Woke up hella confused and missing my fictional brother.

You are everything I cannot see

I woke up around four this morning. Something was wrong but it took me a little while to work out what. Then it was all so obvious. My right eye wasn't open. I'm going to take you back a few years. It was Christmas and I had the flu. Sometime just before my birthday, might even have been the day before, my cold was lessening but I woke up one morning and found I couldn't open my right eye. After two hours in an emergency room where nurses kept walking past to look at my fucked up face, I was sent to an eye doctor who tried to admit me until my mum got upset and told her it was my birthday soon. I was sent home with a big ol' bottle of antibiotics and a heavy dose of depression. Since then I've been terrified of losing my sight. Granted my actual eye was virtually unharmed but the world is a duller place when you can only see half of it. I had a fright two winters ago and spent all night watching Finding Nemo and trying not to panic only to wake up sometime later and be fine.

So this morning I wake up and my right eye won't open. Of course, being mostly asleep I rubbed it open without thinking and promptly freaked. I was staring at my eye in the mirror, trying to work out whether it was swollen or not when it suddenly seemed huge and red. That's when I blacked out and smacked just about all of my limbs off the sink. I staggered blindly to my parents' bedroom where I was met with confusion and annoyed grunts from the blob I assumed was my father. My mum tried to lead me back to bed but I kept babbling about how I wouldn't wake up. I started flailing in darkness and woke up again on the ground, numb with a rushing noise in my ears and my mum checking my pulse on my wrist. I remember hoping I wasn't gonna die or anything, not in my Mario tshirt of all things.

Anyway, I made it back to bed and I'm fine now. I've got eyedrops for my eye that's mildly bloodshot and a tad icky, and my skint knee is sore again since I gave it a good thwack both times I fell. Mostly my heads just messed up. Before I went to sleep last night I was doodling ideas down and what do I write? A story about a blind girl that's what.

Julie responded all this by calling me a wuss.
"You feel a wee bit ill and it's all oh no! *swoons*"

Gotta love her.

I skipped Classics today

But it's okay. I actually found the shortened version of what I missed online.

Here

It's too fucking true! Greek men lounging drinking wine and having orgies is what I woulda been learning about today. They just tarted it up by calling it a symposium lecture. Phah!

Sometimes I think I should have just picked philosophy and sat stroking my chin and saying hmmm. Much less erections on pots.

Party Hats and Cake for all!

My essay is done!

No more feminist ranting for me this year, no siree bob!

Woo!

And the anchorperson on TV goes blah dee blah dee blah

I'm in the writing swing. I cannot stop writing and it's mostly crap but ideas are jumping off my fingers and getting washed up in the middle of my actual work. I wrote a short story in amongst my notes on the rise of Anti-semitism in the Middle Ages, three pages into my History essay I have two attempts to write a piece I've wanted to write for months but I still can't get it out without sounding either like a disgruntled emo or hopelessly depressing and then I wrote two more pieces in my head on the bus this morning and promptly forgot the majority of them because I can't write on the bus without feeling weird. I forgot how much I enjoy it.

I used to keep a diary. I wrote absolutely everything in there, things I've never told anyone even when I've wanted to. Re-reading them was a comfort, didn't matter what it was I'd scrawled on the page, because it was me there in smudgy black. I had to give it up when a certain sister read it and landed me in a heap of trouble with the parents. I'll simply say my dad did not talk to me for a year because of it. So no more diary, no more venting of all the things that go on in this topsy-turvy brain of mine and I went a little mad. I couldn't write anything other than childish drivel, I was too scared of trying anything new.

Writing again means I've regained the last part of me after I fell apart almost two years ago. I've wanted to be a writer ever since I was old enough to read but I don't know if I could ever be happy enough with something I'd written to publish it. More than that I don't think I've experienced enough to write anything substantial. All I know are missed chances and why you should never date guys with the same name in a short space of time. It just ain't right.

I've got a craving for peanut butter. I wanna watch Firefly all night with someone who loves me and a big ol' pile of toast spread thick with peanut butter. Closest I've got is Firefly with a big cushion and maybe a lollipop if my stash hasn't gone gooey. Might just do that soon, haven't seen Captain Tightpants in a long while.

Craps, I've got uni early tomorrow. Bedtime!

Oh I'll end with a conversation I overhead in classics today:

Guy who kicked me all lecture: "I watched the Celtic v Hearts game last night. There's two teams I couldn't care less about."
Guy who kept tapping his pen: "So why'd you watch?"
Kicking Guy: "I hate Hearts. I hate them so much that if they were playing Saddam Hussein I'd want him to win."

That's real loathing there folks.