Watch out for saturn spinning wildly towards that big black thing over there, your crush will hate you.

My email thing was down this morning so I had to check it manually instead. It's always so slow and I've gotta sign in like three times for reasons I can't be bothered working out. So I was waiting for the mail page to load and looking at all the pretty little blue ?s since half the stuff won't work on Safari when I noticed my horoscope at the bottom of the page that I don't remember setting to be there but whatever. I always like reading them. Especially the ridiculously specific ones you get nowadays. If you like a guy and you're single and have a job and either came into a lot of money or lost a lot of money recently and maybe you were thinking about getting a hair cut, maybe now is the time to buy a puppy. This one was a little weird:

Drink plenty of water, dear Capricorn, in order to keep your system properly hydrated. Water is the most important part of your diet, and it is likely that you are not drinking nearly enough. Being a water sign means that this element is the foundation of your being, making you extremely emotional, caring, and sensitive. Make sure to distance yourself from people who try to suck this life force from you.


Now, first off I was actually drinking water when I read this. Secondly "dear Capricorn"? Like it's some sort of kindly old lady and I'm the uninterested goat-fish thing from next door that just wanted my ball back from her garden. Yeah ok, I could blame my emotions on my star sign that seems fair but to claim that I have to drinks tons of water because it's 'the foundation of my being'? No shit. Water would be the foundation of all us humans never mind all this water sign crap. You don't see all the fire elementals jumping in the oven eight times a day to replenish their life force now do you. It was the last line that killed me though. Get back you water sucking devils you!

Then I realised holy shit, I'll be 19 in like a month. 19 seems way too old. I haven't done half the things I always thought I'd do by now. Like learn to drive and move out and have a whirlwind affair with an attractive guitarist. But then the thought hasn't exactly kick-started me into doing anything about it. I made some toast, wrote a short story and missed my history class all whilst hiding from the window cleaner cause I've got no money for him. That's my life now. Thrilling.