Talking to the mirror again but it's not listening.

First things first, Em makes the cutest lil drunk. She made me giggle today what with her stating of obvious facts and her loud excitement and I needed a giggle. I've been in a funk. All doom and gloom and being bitter about the world and my solitude in it.

It's been a pretty good week so far and I expected it to be a drag. I've still to face the 9am start on Friday with Mr Robe Man but that's a little while off. I've got two essays to do as well but I think I can do them. It's not as daunting as last year when it was all holy crap it's French. Helps when everything is in English and I actually understand it (although Dolichocephalic? I've got it memorised but forgot what it means).

I walked home from the bus stop tonight, still a little shaky on my feet but sober enough to face my sis, and just as I rounded the corner of my street I looked up and god the sky was pretty. I find it so humbling watching the sky. I used to lie in the road and watch clouds drift by. I was convinced that the sky looked rounder in our area, like a big blue arch keeping me safe. I don't get to lie in the road anymore. Mostly because there's a lot more traffic these days but also because my neighbours think I'm odd enough as it is. But while I trudged home I looked up again and it's still my big blue arch holding me in, keeping me grounded and reminding me that it's ok to be alone. And I can be alone under my own sky because for the first time in a long while I'm happy being me. I imagine the rum had something to do with it but I've been reflecting a lot lately. I always get all romantical around October. Something in the air that just makes me so inclined. Last year it broke me. I was at uni and I hated everything about it. I spent all my time sulking at home even though I did have a number of guys interested in me which was something I couldn't get used to, so I led them on and pushed them away and drove them off one by one. (although the weirdest of them all still occasionally talks to me every so often. And by talks I mean says "so wanna have sex now?"). The sky and the rum freed me a little tonight. I can go to sleep tonight and think "yeah, today was a good use of a day and also my hair looks pretty good."


Yes, I believe in love, yes I'm a dreamer but I'm not alone, there are more of us than you suspect, and we've got bombs, truth and beauty bombs.