I don't mean to hurt her feelings but she's a crazy fucked up bitch

"You're home early, kid. Have you been partaking in the fifth most dangerous drug?"
"Popcorn?"
"What?"
"Where's the pancakes?"
"There are none! Go tell your mother that she's failed."
"But you're the Catholic. Get up and make us some Jesus cakes." I got a look. The look that says stop adding Jesus in front of everything to make it religiousy. "You know, I always thought Pancake Tuesday was just a gimmick to make us appreciate pancakes and then the pancake corporation would reap the tasty rewards."
"Like Christmas. Everyone's like Christ who?"
"Yeah Dad but he stole it from Santa."
"Pffft. I got an email about your birthday present. Maybe it'll mean something to you, cause I don't know what's going on."

The email run thusly:

From: TopatoCo
Organization: TopatoCo
Reply-To:
Date: Mon, 04 Feb 2008 11:40:28 -0500
Subject: Someone's Webcomic Item is Being Shipped by TopatoCo

And that someone is MISS KITTY ! MISS KITTY is about to get a
package in the mail from TopatoCo, former washing machine repair shop
turned world famous webcomic merchandise distributor!

If you're in the USA, expect your package in 3-4 days. If you're in
Canada, about two weeks. If you are from a magical land far, far away it
can take up to four weeks depending on what Customs is doing. Tracking
is not available for most international destinations because it's wicked
expensive!

If you need more information, please reply to this email or visit the
creator's website. Thanks for supporting independent artists on the
Inter-Tubes of CyberSpace!

Thanks!
Jeffrey Rowland
TopatoCo President
"TopatoCo. Thinking of the Children So You Don't Have To."

Which means my tshirt is on its way. My tshirt that glows in the dark. Life is good.

Have some more Dad talk.
"Fiona called me to say she'll be late since she's going to Mass. Have to move that meeting."
Mum appeared: "Why aren't you at Mass then?"
"Pfft, cause I'm not devout." I added in a Duh and got a look.
"Do you want me to rub some dirt on your forehead?" He batted my mum's hand away from his face.
"No I don't." Then he put a sad face on and pressed on his forehead hard and moaned about how he always had to go when he was wee.
"It's to mark you as a Catholic. There's no need for it at all, it's so you can't pretend you aren't religious. And you'll only mingle with other marked children and all the little atheists will be all sad and jealous. Like how we can't cross ourselves or have pretty rosaries." I used to cross myself all the time when I was very small. I thought it was cool.
"Everybody was a Catholic, kiddo. We didn't need marked out."
"But you're ruining my conspiracy theory that the Pope wants to make everyone jealous of his hat."
"Have you been drinking?"
"Mum threw out my beer."
"You left it lying out."
"To be drunk later."
"Disgusting."
"So's your face."

And then we went to bed.

I've got time to kill and a story playing on my mind and I should wash my hair so it's less doll like and bleh but I think I might go slide in the kitchen. These socks may have been expensive and I've only worn them under my jeans and in bed but goddamn do they make dancing in the kitchen a helluva lot more fun. I've got my bowler and my shorts on. I can bung my ipod in the back pocket and slide my way to happiness.