This heaven gives me migraines

They started in fourth year maths. In front of me sat a line of those who were just whiling away the days before their sixteenth birthday and the freedom that would bring. One of them hated me, called me a frigid cow for two years straight until he got so high he forgot who I was. Another plotted to bomb a whole area where the rival school was situated.

"But ma granny lives in Eastfield!" The fat girl was distraught.
"So tell 'er to go to the Spar that day." He tried to return to his plan.
"She disnae shop there."
"So tell 'er she 'as to that day."
"But she 'ates it! You're gonnae kill ma granny!"
"No fer fucksake, amurnae. I don't have a fucking bomb!"

We had a test that day. I couldn't see the questions. I couldn't see the numbers of my calculator. I remember not being able to feel my fingers hold the pen so I'm not sure how I wrote. A girl who used to be my best friend but barely spoke to me these days took me by the arm when the bell rang for lunch. She led me to the office and left silently once I was seated. My old tech teacher brought me water and clucked over me like my Papa did. Aggressively caring. When I threw up the staff yelled at me, like I'd planned it. the boy next to me waiting for his social worker kept dancing and cracking jokes until I managed a smile. He even tried to hug me.

Since then the headaches have been frequent. Some of it can be blamed on forgetting my glasses half the time and straining. I read far too much with screwed up eyes and a frown. Last night I stared hard at the word document that had too many blank spaces and wondered if I'd eaten enough. I gave up early and lay in bed until the book fell from my numb fingers and the pillow engulfed me. I was drowning and I tried not to panic. When I panic I can't sleep and if I can't sleep everything gets a lot worse. So I shut my eyes not too tight and my mind takes me to a bar that's really a couch in somebody's bedroom and I'm trapped awkwardly between these two guys who talk way too loud and laugh at me. One falls asleep, dead weight on my thighs and the other plays with my hair speaking nonsense. Then I watch myself pass out and one of them carries me because we have to go, somebody's found us when we should be hiding. They chase us but I never wake up and with the loudest bang they fire a gun at my head and just as I jerk awake a cat with a big fake moustache yells "gotcha".

I got full marks in that maths test though, despite working blind.