Maybe not from the sources you are pouring into

I was baking cookies in the kitchen when the doorbell rang and I panicked because I don't like it when the doorbell rings and it's only me in the house and I have to deal with things. So I walked down the hall, jumping up to hit the door frame on my way out of the kitchen only it was much higher than I supposed and there was this netting thing, all red and yellow and far far too bright and I tangled my finger and broke it like whathisface did in primary. When I get to the door I have no idea who the guy standing there is but he's a friend and he brought cake like I'd told him to. I tried to lead him into the house but he decided he wanted to go through the garage but you can't because the door is broken and instead he walked through my house, out the back door through the back door of my garage and stood in there and complained about the mess. By the time I found him and got him out the back door had swung all the way open and became a puzzle I couldn't work out how to put back together. I thought I had it sorted and I went to lock it but there was a cobweb in the way and he decided this was a problem. He blew it away but it blew inward and got all tangled round my still all bent the wrong way finger and I was so pissed off at him because he was acting so smugly gentlemanlike. I locked it and the door fell down. We covered it with a sheet. Then he started tearing apart the cake he had brought because there was a ring inside and he was going to propose but then he realised what if I swallowed it or someone else got that slice and I remember falling down and laughing.

When I woke up my phone was flashing because some drunk idiot with a girlfriend had sent me the word "Yum". I have not responded.