The Boosh is loose and a little bit raw

I woke up yesterday feeling more than a little crap but it was Emma's party night and it was only 7am so I tried to stay positive. Apart from the aforementioned soul crushing first bus of the day the morning went well. Buses were on time so I was on time for Classics for once. I even managed to blag my way through the class despite neglecting to do any of the work on the Siphnian Treasury. Later for studying, man. Got dolled up and met the loveliest lady. We missed a train, the bus didn't come, we got harassed by a drooling old man and finally made it on another train. We talked girl stuff. The crazy sizing of women's clothing these days, hips, how hard it is to find boots that fit right in all areas. I told her she missed Toady from Neighbours. She got so excited. She's the only person I know that still watches the show. Then it was pizza time and Emma had a cloak and she liked my presents.

I was running on no energy even by the time we got to the union. But smile wide, flash those teeth, wiggle your girl around to songs that aren't Bowie but will do. Make it through the night because it isn't yours. Fake it til it's real and remember at least you're surrounded by people you actually like unlike all those other nights when you felt crap and had to go out. Emma swishes her way through us all, moving from person to person, introductions all round and I don't remember whose name goes with whose face. I get a chance to rest my feet and just when I relax a little there's the tap on the shoulder from the next creep who wants to freak me out. I attract them like flies. He doesn't creep me out, nothing really does anymore. I'm more surprised when a guy is nice to me and then I convince myself that there must be something wrong with them and run away. But it kills the tiny high I'd built up to carry me through the remainder of the night.

So I get out, rant at Joe, my dad manages to be omnipresent and I feel a little better. Emma's drunk and giggly and kinda gay. Lotsa kisses and "you're my favourite". Makes me smile. I love my little witch girl. By the time we leave my feet are dead. Who invented heels and why did I have to fall in love with these boots? I've got an arm to drag me and the promise of bed to encourage me. Emma's still excitable, she tells me off for made up affairs. She's fun to wind up when drunk. Taxi rejects us and my dad rages through text. I tried to crawl to bed as quietly as I can when he appears on the stair. Long interrogations before he storms downstairs to complain to the black cab people. Making his little girl come home in a gasp! private hire taxi instead.

I wake up still bleh this morning. I had a day off from everything but I couldn't face studying, couldn't write anything and didn't feel like watching the football (good thing too since we gave away a penalty in the 93rd minute). I gave up on the day around 3 (although considering I was still in the tshirt I slept in I never gave the day much of a chance) having decided that watching my hair slowly fall down from its sleeping state to its normal position in intervals of 20 mins was not a decent pastime. I retired to my cosy little room, put my fairy lights on and chose the ridiculousness of the Mighty Boosh over the brooding of a certain vampire with a soul. Things always look a little brighter with Noel and Julian <3

Mon pays

I've never been particularly patriotic. I remember learning about the Scottish Wars of Independence in primary six and feeling something resembling pride. I wasn't so thrilled watching Braveheart, all I saw was Mel Gibson. But I remember the trip to Stirling and being annoyed that there was a union jack flying in Stirling Castle. The whole class was fired up in a Scottish rage against those damn English although this probably didn't mean anything since just the year before we were fired up in a British rage against the Germans after doing the Second World War. We would shake our fists at the one Mercedes in the teacher's car park. I was outraged when my little sister did not study the Wars of Independence. Instead her class did some Enterprise rubbish. To this day she knows little about William Wallace and doesn't know the story of good ol' Rob and the spider in the cave.

I have never sung the national anthem bar the once in primary seven when we all sang it among other songs. I have nothing against the English and feel having a national song about how we killed those evil English bastards is ridiculous. Even the lyrics make no sense "It's in the past now and in the past it must remain" so lets all sing about it every time we play football? And besides we signed it all away in 1707 so why sing about it? I wouldn't even sing it if we were playing England. I used to go to Scotland games regularly but some of the people who go, god. It's shameful. I've been going to Celtic games every week for 8 years and never experienced people as bad as these Scotland fans. Drunken racists who've punched, kicked and groped me over the years. We stopped going a while ago but since we were playing Italy and we had a chance of getting a ticket my dad bought them. Thankfully, the people around us yesterday were reasonable. There was a guy who called the female football team a bunch of lesbians and the guy who walked straight into my bruised knee at the end (which made working today a fuckin nightmare) but it was fine. I had fun with my dad mocking the group sitting behind us. (Do you ken? Naw I dinnae ken, do you ken? Aye I ken.) I knew how important the game was. We were playing Italy. If we won not only would we proceed for once but we would have won against Italy of all countries. Yet, I just couldn't get excited. And it was hard to feel anything when we let in a goal within the first minute.

I cared when it was drawing close to the final whistle and it was a draw. I cared when McFadden missed what would have been a perfect goal. I cared when we lost so unfairly. But I went home and I got over it.

Saying this I did vote for the party whose primary aim is independence. Do I want independence then after arguing that I don't like our national anthem, mock the way we speak and don't hate the English even a little bit? I don't really mind. I voted them because it would shake things up, I liked their other policies and wouldn't it be hilarious if we became independent while Gordon Brown was still prime minister and suddenly he loses his British nationality? Hell yeah it would.

On a completely different topic, guess what's on TV again? Come with us now, on a journey through time and space, to the world of the Mighty Boosh!