High class games of sorrow

Oh, it's all ridiculous.

I've been reading, now that I've had a chance to catch my breath. I pulled out my copy of the perks of being a wallflower even though I know all the words by now and reading it is like listening to a favourite song you've played so many times the tune's lost meaning. I forced myself to read it properly this time, like the first time I read it and then I looked down the list of books within it and worked out what ones I have and what ones I can get a hold of for free. So my dad gave me his copy of On the Road though not the copy he 'read three times before I was your age' (I'm not sure if that was bragging, or pride or what but those were his words). I've had This Side of Paradise bookmarked for months keeping Virginia Woolf company. To kill a mockingbird, peter pan, great gatsby and catcher in the rye I've read, Hamlet I have never finished since my copy is so heavily annotated it drives me mad. There's one or two I think my dad might have somewhere but then I'm stuck. No more cash to buy the written word. The sooner I write my own, the better.

The pile of literature just keeps growing. There's all the books I started over Christmas and never finished. The last book I read cover to cover might have been breakfast at tiffany's or dorian gray. I haven't finished Bronte or Milton or Gogol or Pushkin. Then there's the short stories: Fitzgerald, Salinger and Gilman. I've been losing myself in films instead. A couple of hours in a dark room with a big screen I can switch off my head and watch. I'm good at watching. Not dvds though, the last film I watched at home was the blob as I stuck pins in my fingers. I didn't even look at the screen, I know it too well. In the cinema I can pretend I'm somewhere else. I shouldn't really be going, I'm supposed to be saving and blowing half my week's allowance on a film isn't what you'd call money savvy but screw it. I spent too long missing films for whatever reason and I love the experience too much. There's no need to speak and comments whispered in my ear tickle and make me smile but I don't have to react. I can just sit and watch and when the credits roll I can start the day again.

I didn't come here to say this but I lost my point somewhere, assume it was interesting ok?